: Last Cry

People have been telling me my blog reeks of sullen anecdotes and random acts of depressive behaviour. "Kel, u are a funny person. Why your blog so damn sad?" Aiyah, that's cos I chose not to present my obsure moods in front of you guys mah. Don't wash my dirty linen in public ya? Besides, I've got a couple of goofy moments in here oso what...

I beg your forgiveness nonetheless.

To set the record straight, I never started blogging because I wanted to profound the world with inane thoughts, softcore wisecracks, bedroom politics nor to bemoan my personal existence or seek fame and stature. I chose this simply as my avenue for my thoughts. You are cordially invited to read it if you stumble upon it. Comments are duly welcomed. I don't intend for you to like it nor hate it. Take it with a pinch of salt.

Actually I want to be famous oso la. Who don't want? I oso want to be featured in the poh chua. I oso want my mugshot taken. I oso want to be lominated for blog awards. Who don't want?

Okay, my bad. I digressed. I've decided to be more chirpy from now on. You shall see kelnvb swinging from a canary cage no more. No more this cow pay for that cow's poo. From now on its wholesome PG fun. Tonight shall be my last cry.

I haven't actually cried for a while. The teary kind. (Not while watching cheesy, soapy lomantic movies. That one no count.) The last disposition I had was sort of the fleeting kind. It was during my last real relationship. I broke off with her after 4 painstaking long years. I recalled the aftermath as a short spell of rolling on my bedroom floor for roughly about 5 minutes, bawling my lungs out and at the same time flailing my limbs amok. Imagine the look of my mum when she came in to check on me. It was a horrific sight. That disgust. That twisted grimace. That bloodcurdling scream. And I thought I was the one in the worser situation.

Riiiiiggghhhhtttt. That was a lame take on trying to be chirpy.

Admit it. We're all crybabies. Heck, the first thing we do when we see the light of this world is to cry. And as we progress into adulthood, we've peckered our tearbuds now and then. We cry when we're happy, when we yawn, when we cut onions, when we fall in love, when we fall out of it, when we're hurt. For obvious reasons, the latter is more than often the true culprit of opening our pearly floodgates.

I used to cry. Sometimes. When I recollect old memories. When I clean skeletons out of my closet. I'd be at my window. With a ciggie. And my favourite crying song. I'd think. Then I'll let them flow. I'll let them roll down my cheek. I'd let go. (And sometimes my ciggie along with it. Cos concentrate too much liao, ciggie burn finger then drop. Nabei.)

Come to think of it....a bit too drama la! What de heow?! So gu niang! Gimme a break can? Mind you that was donkey years back hor.

I don't miss it now though. But in fact, it is good to enjoy a good cry now and then. Got scientific study one ok? Just don't bo dai bo jee ask that cow to pay for this cow's poo la.


Go ahead. Pick a spot. Choose a CD. Get some booze. Knock yourselves out.