I woke up this morning in total disarray. An all too familiar disorientation.

I shifted towards my alarm clock. I've set it 20 minutes faster. Ironically, the fact that I am aware of it, makes it a futile effort on my own part to measure up to that metaphoric displacement. I had woken up 10 minutes earlier.

Moments later, I set a foot off the threshold, and I hear the latch gently click shut.

~~~~

I remember her smile.

Her eyes that would flood her entire face with visual pyrotechnics that erupted whenever she laughed. And I would laugh with her. It is not unusual. I'd often found it amazing the way she exudes her elation and her medium of choice.

Incidentally, I would lose myself in all her mirth, and later find myself in her angst.

Perhaps, in a way, there was a reason why I could never have been able to shake the trolls in my head, why I constantly remind myself not to create mountains out of molehills, and why every single detail we subconsciously drew into the space between us seems to further distance ourselves from credibility. I tried to toy with words but they failed fall into place.

A visage invariably churned into a juxtaposition of nostalgia and alienation.

A faux pas of familiar strangers, minions of commodity.

I'd asked her for a minute, so she could create an eternity.

So tell me, what was it like when you first met?

.
.
.

Like morning after rain.

The sunshine glistening off her skin.

She had that beaming smile and laugh that sort of lights up everything around you? The infectious sort that she effortlessly rips rampant in generous proportions.

Slowly the whole scene whites out, and behind her you could almost see a kaleidoscope of colours, twirling at that tiny skip she makes in her footsteps.

You slowly imagine yourself being mystifically absorbed in her presence.

And her smell. The smell of freshness. Of a new kind of somewhere.

Everywhere.

Just like morning after rain.


A fissure of euphoria in the white...

For those who can't resist.

http://cm.k366.com
(In Mandarin)

昨晚，我与一位老友叙旧， 谈到了算命这回事。

在我们分析算命师为他打造的结果的途中，
我渐渐的发现，其实命与人无争的一个箭步，
就是在于它与人的构思，是勃勃生机的。

人，原来想要掌握的不只是生命的一切，
也在乎到是否能够随和地由我们自己去安排与改良。

莫些时候，命的基本意念，
就是能带给我们不少的惊喜，悲哀，与欢笑。
如果带走了这些，生命能带给我们的唯一的承诺，
就失去了它得意义。

相信不管算命师为你推断的一切，到头来，
这个漫长的路，都是由我们自己的喜怒哀乐，
悲欢离合，所打造出来。

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The few uncertainties and insecurities we face each day, with which we all have inculcate from
the tributaries from a supposed multi-faceted organisational behaviour model, denotes a juxtaposition of the extremeties of bliss and woe, from which our own emotions and the perception of others' emotions have stemmed.

Perhaps it is because we are never satisfied. We seek to purposefully acknowledge the fact that the grass is always greener at some fuller pasture, that it exists somewhere and we are in a never-ending pursuit of the epitomised functionalities in life. That social promise that everyone of us can make it.

How accurate is that? Even if we can have our fortunes told, or our having lives presumptuosly paved, how much do we have that is within our own grasp and control?

At some point in time, something will probably trigger that spark in us all, and usually, effortlessly, it will fall into place.

Heck, maybe it already had, but we just never saw it.

Today hor, after lunch hor, I go click my Inbox.

Then hor, I see-see my Follow-up. Theeeeeere. Will put green bracket one leh. Inside got number one.

Then I see hor, I realised, that I got 18 items for follow-up.

Some more hor, all due this week neh.

Now as I is typing this, I is lie flat on floor, rolling on my round round belly, leaving a trail of 18 pieces of shit.

(Can tell la hor, from my vocabulary now.)

Chronological order of a day in shambles :

- Missed bus therefore missed train and am ultimately late without breakfast
- Discovered loss of ATM card (again)
- Discovered forgot to draw money yesterday and am therefore penniless
- New shoe making its mark on my feeble ankle
- Limping like a cripple to work
- Got splattered by unidentified viscuous liquids from surrounding foliage on way to office building (coincidentally I was the only one in that spot which meant no one else kena-ed and also because I was "crippled" I couldn't siam in time. TMD.)
- Made my way to bank to replace ATM card only to invariably suffer mild aural tension from random middle-aged female's incessant ramblings about the bank's waiting time
- Ended up having zero time left for lunch and therefore had to settle for Nissin Chu Qian Yi Ding's XO instant noodles and 3 pieces of Tim Tam
- Newly purchased bag's magnetic button clip cracking open before splitting the magnet into two (and I swear I wasn't even using any force)
- Got caught in the rain on the way home
- By now my head was cracking open and threatening to split into two and could find no relief
- Missed dinner due to the above
-Scratched the old man's car against a lamp post whilst parallel parking and had to do an immediate op (aka crude paint job and bloody hell when I saw the parking lot number "37" I was momentarily dumbfounded cos 7 and 3 were suppose to be my lucky numbers!)
- Left my book in the car upon reaching home

By then I was so flippant about bed I could think nothing more of what had transpired.

Whatever.