只是乾妹妹

Right, I'm on a crappy connection again tonight. Must be fluctuation in my block again. I hope this goes up. (What the heck are all these people doing on a holiday eve night?! Go out for Pete's sake! LTA never extend MRT operating hours for nothing. Go out get drunk and rowdy and bonk like rabbits for Matthew's sake! Some of us got blogs to update! Cos now got fans liao mah.)

Okaaayy...now on to business.

Wait. What was I suppose to write?

Crap.

Okay. I know. Let's talk about this ever on-going trend of pet names. Especially those with Kor-kors and Jie-jies and Di-dis (no naughty pun intended) and Mei-meis. For years, I still can't totally fathom why would anyone wanna address someone who is relatively not even distantly related to you, lest to be called affectionately by the above salutations. I admit it. I've adopted a couple of meimeis in the past. I can barely recall my first "mei-mei" to swanker out of a popular chat medium in the late 90s, with whom I got attached with emotionally. (Cliche isn't it? But hey, who doesn't make mistakes? We grow up eventually. And I'm not talking about me here.)

Apparently, it doesn't end there. This fab of calling someone you presume close to you with brotherly/sisterly affection does seem quite harmless, in fact it sort of acertains your status with the said someone. Especially when she's a babe.

Observe.

"Woah that XXX sibei jude ah!"

"Ya, buay pai hor? She my mei-mei leh."

"Wah! Really ah?"

"Ya, steady."

"Intro leh!"

"Cannot lah. Must protect her cos she very vulnerable to amorous mei-mei ravaging perverts like you."

"Chey, mei-mei only what, oso not girl friend! Grow up la! How old liao still keep MEIMEI?!"

Okay. That didn't quite come out as expected. With that note, it does happens that some of them meimeis do so just so as to draw that line that, well, that's the furthest you can go. But then again, who honestly cares? She chio. Up lor.

You'd probably be thinking, what I have against people having make-shift siblings?

Nothing. Just that a few moments ago, a friend's girlfriend told me that I got that Kor-kor kinda impression on her. Wazzup with that?!

And yes, I still have a make-shift meimei. And she just called me from Down Under. Not very jude oso la.

Tread lightly...

...for I will measure each and every step you take." - by dunno-which-know-it-all-idiot

It has been a hell of a ride, and I reckoned its time I set a few things straight. A couple of days back, mistverge was telling me how much I've come to see beyond the things I've become too used to, too resilient to forgo. Which was good. But right now, I've decided I must set a few resolutes to pen and paper,

Ergo :

1) Quit my smokes.
2) Get a new job.
3) Get my degree.
4) Get a hobby.
5) Get into shape.
6) Get a piggy bank.
7) Drink less coffee.
8) Get a tan. (highly unlikely)

Alright. That's gonna take some work. Can someone now throw me a lifeline? Maybe some number i can call? Hello? A little help here?

Lone Scape ~Post Mortem

I've been blogging for over a year now. I've written several anecdotes and cheesy taglines for the amusement of all, for friends, for strangers, and most of all, for thyself.

Right now at this very instant, I am about to pen the one entry that is to be the most influential and most significant to me at this very moment. To dictate what I had started all this for. To carve a certain epitome to every single fragment of my life that has come to this. This very point in my journey where I stand.

By myself. For myself.

In years to come, (and in hope that they do not close down Blogger), I will look over my shoulder, and find, albeit how moss-covered, or how ancient it might have seem, my only solace, that I had been painstakingly seeking to find, and had for that instant, lacked the courage to lose.

There is silence all around me now. I can still hear myself. Literally. My own voice. Within the confines of my being. I challenge the thought of how tedious letting go had become, how tiring its toil on me it has been. But right now, I seek the final cut, drawing the curtains on this recurrant episode. To finally see through my own selfish blindness, that I have sought out a certain path, a certain detour, a retreat from a conceited naive notion.

The cloak lifted. I see it now. It had always been this clear. I just didn't realise it, and I had stubbornly chose the surreal instead. I had shunned reality. When in the first place, it was never mine to begin with.

And hence, it never will be.

Now, I see myself as a mere reflection of what I had used to be. I brush away a tear. I trembled as I tried to ignore the agonising hot sear in my eyes. I push myself up from the coldness of the floor. I dust away the pain, the overdue sorrow, the promise of a lost hope.

I welcome the warmth. The blinding obviousness of the truth that had always stayed where it had always been. I start to walk down the winding path ahead. I tremble with excitement, waiting to discover what it yields. I embrace it.

I take one long last glance over my shoulder. And I realised, that I'd made another mistake.

I realised, this time, I am never looking back.