Lone Scape ~Post Mortem

I've been blogging for over a year now. I've written several anecdotes and cheesy taglines for the amusement of all, for friends, for strangers, and most of all, for thyself.

Right now at this very instant, I am about to pen the one entry that is to be the most influential and most significant to me at this very moment. To dictate what I had started all this for. To carve a certain epitome to every single fragment of my life that has come to this. This very point in my journey where I stand.

By myself. For myself.

In years to come, (and in hope that they do not close down Blogger), I will look over my shoulder, and find, albeit how moss-covered, or how ancient it might have seem, my only solace, that I had been painstakingly seeking to find, and had for that instant, lacked the courage to lose.

There is silence all around me now. I can still hear myself. Literally. My own voice. Within the confines of my being. I challenge the thought of how tedious letting go had become, how tiring its toil on me it has been. But right now, I seek the final cut, drawing the curtains on this recurrant episode. To finally see through my own selfish blindness, that I have sought out a certain path, a certain detour, a retreat from a conceited naive notion.

The cloak lifted. I see it now. It had always been this clear. I just didn't realise it, and I had stubbornly chose the surreal instead. I had shunned reality. When in the first place, it was never mine to begin with.

And hence, it never will be.

Now, I see myself as a mere reflection of what I had used to be. I brush away a tear. I trembled as I tried to ignore the agonising hot sear in my eyes. I push myself up from the coldness of the floor. I dust away the pain, the overdue sorrow, the promise of a lost hope.

I welcome the warmth. The blinding obviousness of the truth that had always stayed where it had always been. I start to walk down the winding path ahead. I tremble with excitement, waiting to discover what it yields. I embrace it.

I take one long last glance over my shoulder. And I realised, that I'd made another mistake.

I realised, this time, I am never looking back.