Merry Xmas's Eve's Eve!

Lame.

I've been having a prolapse these past 3 days. Just nice. Right before my feast tomorrow. (wails) I've been dredging the contents of my bowels until I don't know the difference between peeing and shitting. Sheer excruciating torment. The pain! The smell! The familiarity of pissing through my ass that has blown to the size of a light bulb! How degrading. I almost took pity on myself everytime I paid a visit to the little boy's room.

I digress.

Know this thing with over-indulging cabbies? It's a matter of luck most of the time actually. Sometimes you meet those you wouldn't mind listening to for a while, and there are those you'd just wanna stuff the gear stick right down their throat. Today, I had the honour of having the presence of the latter. I shall dub him Mr See-Suai. You'll find out why soon enough.

Me : Uncle, Choa Chu Kang.
Mr See-Suai : Err..Mister ah, you wanna go by...err..tsk...this PIE?
Me : Ya, sure.
Mr See-Suai : Then you wan me...tsk..U-turn here?
Me : Er...ya...no other way right?
Mr See-Suai : Then..err..tsk tsk...you wan me go by this...err...BKE later?
Me : Ya then after that exit to KJE then Choa Chu Kang Drive lor. (I figured he'd probably ask me again so I might as well finish it for him.)

(Pause)

Mr See-Suai : So..err...Mister...you work at this building ah?
Me : Err..ya.
Mr See-Suai : Wat company hah?
Me: ESPN.
Mr See-Suai : Hah? Ass..Pee...Ant...simi ah?
Me : Sports television.
Mr See-Suai : Orh..tsk...that...tsk tsk tsk...wat ah? Soccer one ah?
Me : Ya.
Mr See-Suai : Orh my brother oso work here i think...err...u know this....tsk tsk....(to protect the identity of the person aforementioned I shall use a fictional name dub See-Sway)...See...Sway??
(And he's probably the first person I've seen who needs 10 seconds to recall his brother's name)
Me : Orh. Ya think I heard before.
Mr See-Suai : Ya he my brother la...tsk tsk...he work quite long there liao...then the company now make...tsk tsk...how u say ah....make prof...tsk tsk...
Me : Make money?
Mr See-Suai : Ya ya. Is it hah? A lot of people...this wat hah....tsk tsk...soccer betting nowadays hor? So I suppose your company earn a lot la?
(At this juncture, I almost wanted to burst out laughing. Though I really can't fathom his ignorance or is he trying to pull my leg. Seeing he's struggling with his ang-moh, I tried to converse with him in mandarin. Futile attempt. Anyway...)
Me : Errr...uncle ah....that one is Singapore Pools earn, not us. We just broadcast only.
Mr See-Suai : (visibly startled) hah?............is it?.......tsk....orh......you all not earn through that one hah?....ooooorrrrrhhhh.......tsk tsk...


(Long pause)

Eventually, I arrive at my destination.

Mr See-Suai : Err...mister...here can?
Me : Ya here can. Thanks.
Mr See-Suai : Err...tsk...this wat ah...$11.50 ah mister.
Me : (I handed him a ten and a two) Nah. Uncle, keep the change.
Mr See-Suai : (This time, he gave his startled look again along with a whimper) Eh! Eh! (try thinking in quick gasps) Mister! You don't wan your..tsk...50 cents ah?
Me : Its ok, its ok. Really.
Mr See-Suai : Orh ok. Thank you hah. Really thank you leh. Thank you. (And he pockets his reward gleefully.)

If by now, you haven't figured out why I called him Mr See-Suai. Try thinking of a sport where there are innings and it resembles baseball. Amazingly though, he did cured me of my prolapse for a brief moment. Kudos.

::Moods and Muses::
信樂團 - 無情的夜晚

Pulled Over at :: Grace Chow

"Go away. I'm all right." - H.G. Wells (Author of "War Of the Worlds")